


The Corn Fic

by Anonymous



Category: The Mandalorian (LadyIrina AU), The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Brought to you after nearly 11 months of talk, Caught, Coitus Interruptus, Corn - Freeform, Crack Treated Seriously, Don't Read This, Extreme misuse of corn and butter, Food Sex, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, God i am so sorry irina, Handwaving, I guess i mean he doesn't really do a good job of hiding, I'm Sorry, I'm serious don't read this, IT'S FINALLY HERE, It's so short because i hated every second of writing it, M/M, Masturbation, Object Insertion, Public Masturbation, Semi-Public Sex, Smut, The details aren't super great plot wise and everything, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000, but that's not the point here, food insertion, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:20:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28420845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Don't read this.~They were restocking at a small market on a mild-weathered planet when Corin got the idea.While walking past a farmer's stall, an array of colorful vegetables caught his eye.A few crates of tomatoes, some green, leafy spinach, purple carrots, and corn. All perishable, so nothing of much interest to him- most food kept on theCresthad to be long-lasting, easy to store.Corin was about to move onto the next stall to continue his search when something made him hesitate.The corn.
Relationships: Corin the Stormtrooper (Rescue and Regret)/Din Djarin
Comments: 13
Kudos: 31
Collections: Anonymous





	The Corn Fic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LadyIrina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyIrina/gifts), [mxartbotboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxartbotboy/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Family and Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21758992) by [LadyIrina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyIrina/pseuds/LadyIrina). 



> Well.
> 
> It's here.
> 
> The one true corn fic, as prophesied on the discord server since early February.
> 
> Tonight will be exactly one year that I posted my first smut fic anonymously, and as I type this, I am sitting exactly where I sat and wrote and posted that fic.
> 
> I did not know the journey posting that would take me on at all. The friends I made as a result.
> 
> The experiences of this year have been like no other and I truly want to thank everyone on the discord- corn believers or non believers- for making such a hellish year more bearable. You are all really amazing.
> 
> Special, _special_ thanks to the hoes (you know who you are) and to LadyIrina herself. I have known no fear like her hearing about me writing this thing but she has been a truly patient queen about it and a VERY good sport. Thank you for everything, you do not deserve this fic but I am Evil. :)
> 
> Let's hope we have an amaizeing 2021.

They were restocking at a small market on a mild-weathered planet when Corin got the idea.

While walking past a farmer's stall, an array of colorful vegetables caught his eye. 

A few crates of tomatoes, some green, leafy spinach, purple carrots, and corn. All perishable, so nothing of much interest to him- most food kept on the _Crest_ had to be long-lasting, easy to store.

Corin was about to move onto the next stall to continue his search when something made him hesitate.

The corn. 

He paused, eyeing the considerable size of each ear. A sudden, ludicrous idea popped into his head, along with a vivid mental image of himself. Alone in the ship, face twisted-

 _No._ No, he had to stop it.

After travelling with Din for so long, though, the idea was more appealing than he'd have cared to admit. 

Din had been kind enough to save him countless times, surely, something Corin could never fully repay him for. But on top of that, he finally felt at home.

Still, he couldn't deny there were other things he wanted, too. Things he wanted with Din, that he knew would never come true. Quick fantasies saved for the spare minutes he'd catch in the 'fresher.

And it had been far too long since he'd had any more than that.

So maybe…

Just this once.

"H-how much for the corn?"

~

Corin couldn't lie- it was really an impulse buy. 

He had no idea when he'd have the time or privacy to use it- that wasn't what had been on his mind, though, exactly, when he bought it.

No- what he _told_ himself was that he simply hadn't satiated his body's needs in a while, and this would help with that. 

The logistics, he could figure out later.

After returning to the ship from the market, he'd hid a single ear of corn among his personal possessions, and mostly forgot about it, for the time being. 

Din had worked with this particular client before, and insisted on initially scoping out the job alone. It would be a few hours until he was back, and a small voice in the back of Corin's head whispered that _this was his chance_.

He wasted no time in feeding the kid and putting him down for a nap. It served as a good distraction, letting Corin almost forget what he intended to do when he was finally alone.

And then… silence. Just Corin, and the easy, low hum of the ship. His heart thumped in his chest.

There was no risk. Right? If he changed his mind, he could just stop. No one would know. Just something he would never think about again.

Corin grabbed the corn from inside his bag, and began untying his pants.

His hands shook, a bit, but he remained determined in his task. Exhaling deeply, he forced himself to relax. He wasn't going to enjoy this if he was tense.

There was still one problem, though.

_How was he going to get it in?_

Scanning the area around him, he tried to think on his feet.

Bacta was a hard _no_. 

Corin's eyes then landed on the little kitchen area they'd set up, comprised of a small cooler for the few perishables they had and a heated burner.

They didn't have that terribly much stored there, as it took up room and didn't last nearly as long as dried food. His options were certainly limited.

And of _course_ he hadn't had the forethought to buy proper lubricant with it.

However, there _was_ a small container of butter Corin had bought fresh when they'd stopped for supplies again the other day.

_Hmm…_

Slowly, he walked over to the cooler, and pulled out the tub of butter.

Corin's throat bobbed, but he faintly smiled to himself, moving the container around in his hands.

Well… he was already doing this, right? Why not?

Letting out the breath he didn't know he was holding, Corin closed the cooler door and took a butter knife out of a small cabinet.

As nervous as he was for this, he kept the end result in mind. The anxiety and doubt slowly disappeared, instead feeding into the want that had compelled him to do this in the first place.

Sitting down on the bench, he opened the metallic tub to look at the white, creamy substance inside. It wasn’t really as intimidating of a task like this- not when he thought about how it would feel, warm and melted inside him.

Before anything else, he pulled his pants off and his underwear down to his calves. It wasn't much, but it'd make a _bit_ of a difference if he had to suddenly cover himself.

Next, he grabbed the corn, running his fingers over the soft, textured kernels. It fit quite perfectly in his hand, he noticed, and his cock gave a slight twitch in the open air.

Well, it was now or never.

He scooped some butter out with the knife, and spread the cool, greasy substance across his fingers. It slowly melted in his hand, turning from a solid little block to a mostly warm, thick liquid that threatened to spill onto the floor below. Closing his eyes, he stuck his hand behind him- using the other to spread his ass open- and began to rub at his entrance.

After a few beats, Corin pushed the finger inside himself with a light gasp. _Kriff, it really had been a long time_. He could feel how tight his muscles were, around him, and relaxed himself with a few breathing exercises he was taught as a recruit. 

Inhale for 4, hold it for 7, exhale for 8. Maker knew it had gotten him through worse.

Opening his eyes, he felt calmer, and began to slowly pump his finger inside himself. 

It wasn't in far enough for him to reach his prostate, yet, but after a minute of gently stretching himself open, he pressed down where he vaguely remembered it being.

And… _oh_. Oh!

 _Shit_ , he'd forgotten how good this felt.

Corin added another finger, and eventually a third, slowly thrusting the digits in and out as his body opened up. Trying not to get himself too worked up too quickly, he avoided touching that one spot he so desperately wanted to.

This worked well, as the stimulation of his fingers alone kept him just on the right side of turned on.

Still, he couldn’t help letting his mouth fall open at the feeling of fullness. It was tighter than he remembered, and Corin knew he couldn't keep this up practically standing in the middle of the room.

The kid was safe napping where he was, and Din wouldn't be back for at least an hour or two. So, figuring he was ready for it, he slid his fingers out and this time used the knife to coat the cob in butter.

Corin slid into the alcove on his knees, wrapping a hand around the corn and rubbing it to again melt the substance.

Once it was just right, he bent forward on his elbows, positioned the corn against his slickened entrance, and _finally_ pushed it inside.

Oh, it was larger than just his fingers. Even heavily buttered, there was still some burn at the stretch, and it had Corin panting. His cock throbbed, now fully hard and pressing up against his stomach.

He pushed it in slowly. Every kernel rubbed inside him as the cob slid deeper, filling him up _just_ how he'd needed for so long.

A moan slid past his lips before he realized it, and it was almost fully in, now. Of course, he couldn’t go _all_ the way- it could get stuck, and there was _no_ way he wanted to risk getting caught by Din doing this.

But as he started to pump the cob, finding a steady rhythm, some rogue part of Corin’s mind wandered to the other man, anyway.

Din’s fingers being the ones that opened him, teasing the rim as he slowly pushed in and out. The slick head of Din’s cock nudging at his entrance, his modulated voice whispering _spread your legs for me, cyar’ika_ as he thrusted in.

Still, the corn felt _so_ good- even better than his fingers, and when he angled it to hit _right there_ again and again Corin almost felt his muscles give out from under him. It was kind of cramped and hot in the alcove, and his thighs burned, but each rub of the kernels inside him sent spikes of pleasure to his untouched cock that built each time.

"D-Din," he sighed before he could stop himself. "Fuck…"

Encouraged by the growing pull low in his belly, Corin sped up his efforts. His eyes had fallen closed again at some point, but he focused on the slap of his skin against itself, the wet noises coming from behind him.

So Corin missed the sound of the bay door opening.

He missed the sound of steps approaching the side of the ship that held the alcove.

What he didn't miss, though, was-

"Corin?"

Oh no.

_Oh no._

He froze.

This was… there was no coming back from this. Din's voice was as unreadable as always, but Corin had no doubt whatever happened next would not be good. Would Din throw him out?

But no yelling or fighting followed. Just silence, which was almost worse. Slowly, Corin craned his head back to finally meet the black visor's gaze- unmoving, and trained on him.

"Uh," he said intelligently.

"Are you… um," Din began. "Did you say-"

His name. Din had heard Corin say it.

"I- I- Din, I can explain, I swear, I just-"

But Din didn't seem mad. Or upset, even. Just… unsure. Awkward.

"Well," the other cleared his throat. Corin could tell he was thinking, and the uncertainty made his heart pound in his throat. "If you want, I can. Um."

And if Corin thought his heart stopped before.

"Y-You want-?"

 _"Only_ if you want to."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Corin nodded. He didn't know how this could possibly be happening, but it was. "I do."

Some kind of unidentifiable sound left Din, and he moved in closer, peeling off his gloves. Corin had stayed in the same position, with a tight grip at the base of the corn, still inside him. He'd been watching Din over his shoulder, and while he couldn't see everything well, he heard the leather gloves hit the floor and felt Din spread his legs.

The next thing Corin knew, a warm hand was brushing against his around the cob.

"You can let go. I want you to touch yourself," Din murmured, starting a rhythm of his own pumping the corn in.

It was slower than what Corin had been doing before, making him _ache_ from the waist down. Din pressed against his prostate with almost every pump, and as soon as he wrapped a hand around himself, he cried out.

"That's it, just like that. You were thinking of me the whole time, hmm?"

"Yeah," Corin groaned. "I wanted it to be you, _ah."_

Pre-cum was dribbling out of the head, now, and Corin ran his thumb across the slit with each pump. He wasn't going to last long, like this. His legs shook, and he buried his face in the cot under him.

"Getting close?"

"Mmhm," came out the muffled whine from Corin. "Please, Din, I want-"

"Want to come for me like this? With this corn deep in you?"

The word _deep_ was punctuated with a particularly hard thrust in, and Corin keened. He'd already been not far off before Din came back, and while the shock had caused his erection to flag a bit, he could feel himself about to spill over with the intense stimulation.

 _"Please._ I want it, _yes."_

"Come, then, Corin."

And just like that, Corin was coming _hard_. He couldn't tell if his vision blurred or his eyes were closed. His hips thrusted brokenly back onto the still-moving, oily cob as Din kept fucking him with it, and forward into his sloppily slick grip until it was almost too much to handle.

After a few beats of silence, filled only with Corin's heavy panting, Din ran a gentle hand down his lower back and pulled the corn out with a wet noise. He felt so empty, now, already missing the feeling of the cob inside him.

Corin sank down, laying nearly flat on his stomach on the cot, and paying no mind to the mess below him. Everything felt a bit hazy, now, but he could hear Din's voice behind him.

"Are you okay, Corin?"

Turning around once more, Corin cast a glance down to Din's prominent bulge through his dark pants, and shot him a grin.

"Your turn next?"

_fin_

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone that wasn't there or does not know the Corn Legend;
> 
> In February a very common typo of Corin's name was _corn._
> 
> This spawned a series of jokes about Corin and the corn, which led to an extremely cursed crack conversation about it.
> 
> I decided to take on the task of writing and posting such a fic about it.
> 
> Hopefully ao3 will show this as being posted on the 30th, as this was my designated posting date as it is the anniversary i mentioned in the first notes.
> 
> This fic was kind of Frankensteined as I wrote a lot earlier in the year and, reading it again, could see my writing abilities had since improved. So some of the original is kept but a lot has been written much more recently.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed :)


End file.
